* * *
The Jew fills out the form.
“Were you a member of other parties?” - "No". “Were you in enemy-occupied territory?” - "No". “Have you been on trial or under investigation?” - "No". "Nationality?" - "Yes".
* * *
- Chaim, have you heard that there will be a pogrom soon?
- But I’m not afraid - I’m Russian according to my passport.
- Fool, they will hit you not on your passport, but on your face!
* * *
The Jew is asked why he does not want to join the party.
- I will have responsibilities like a communist, and rights like a Jew!
* * *
An old Jew and his son are watching a football match on TV.
- The goal scorer is Gershkovich! - announces the commentator.
- And do you think they are defending this goal? - the father says skeptically.
* * *
Advertisement: “I’m exchanging one nationality for two criminal records.
I agree to longer terms.”
* * *
African dictator Idi Amin tells Brezhnev:
- We ate our Jews, but you can’t, or what?
- We don't digest them!
* * *
Stirlitz, infiltrated into the Gestapo, burned out like this: Müller called him and, wanting to test him, said:
- We learned that you are a Jew!
- What are you talking about, I’m Russian! - Stirlitz burst out.
* * *
The head of the personnel department looks thoughtfully at the Jew:
-You don't fit our profile.
* * *
In the HR department:
- Hello!
- Goodbye!
* * *
A list of candidates for the post of chief rabbi of the Moscow synagogue was presented to Khrushchev for approval.
-Are you crazy? - Nikita Sergeevich yelled. - You have only Jews here!
* * *
The Politburo is deciding what to do with Khrushchev's removal.
“I suggest finding him a hard job.”
- And I suggest giving him a Jewish passport - let him get a job himself!
* * *
- Comrade personnel officer, do you hire people with last names ending in “ich”?
- No!
- What about “zones”?
- What more!
- What about “ko”?
- This is please.
- Kogan! Come here, I've got you covered!
* * *
- What is a miracle-yudo?
- A Jewish child accepted to the Faculty of Mechanics and Mathematics at Moscow State University this year.
* * *
A Jew enters graduate school at the department of history. On the history exam, he answers all the questions, but they keep asking him for new names and dates.
- A historian needs an especially good memory! - they tell him.
- Oh, I have an excellent memory. I remember myself from the age of eight days: a gray-bearded Jew leaned over me and cut off my path to entering graduate school!
* * *
A Jewish husband and his Russian wife applied to leave for Israel. She was allowed, but he was not - because of the fifth point.
* * *
During a shooting exercise, Soldier Ivanov missed, Soldier Petrov missed, and Soldier Rabinovich hit the target. The commander addresses the formation:
- Take the example of Rabinovich - he’s a bad soldier, but he tries!
* * *
One Jew to another:
- Under communism I will have my own plane!
- Why do you need a plane?
- What if, say, in Kaluga they give flour. Half an hour into the flight - and I’m there!
* * *
Two Jews pass by Lubyanka. One sighs heavily.
- Ha! - the second responds. - He still tells me!
* * *
During political classes, Rabinovich asks a question:
- So you say that everything is so good, but where did the oil go?
“I’ll think about it and answer next time,” says the manager.
Next time someone else raises his hand.
- You probably want to ask, where did the oil go? - the manager addresses him.
- No, I want to ask, where did Rabinovich go?
* * *
Hello! my last name is Rabinovich. Do you need such specialists?
- We would hire you, but we need an employee with knowledge of higher mathematics.
- I graduated from the Faculty of Mechanics and Mathematics.
- Very good, but you also need to know nuclear physics.
- I also graduated from the physics department.
- Amazing! but the fact is that we have a sponsored enterprise in Ashgabat, so you need to know the Turkmen language.
- I know Turkmen language.
- How long will you continue to mock me, you Jewish mug?!
* * *
- Rabinovich, where do you work?
- On the railway.
- And how many of us are there?
- Two left: me and the barrier.
* * *
The general is presented with excellent military and political training. They step out of line and introduce themselves:
- Sokolov!
- Falcon! - says the general.
- Orlov!
- Eagle! - says the general.
- Rabinovich!
- Also a bird! - says the general.
* * *
NEP. Rabinovich was invited to the Cheka:
- We are building socialism, but we have financial difficulties, and we are counting on you, Comrade Rabinovich. Surely you have gold hidden. Hand it over.
- I have to ask my wife.
The next day he was invited again:
- What did your wife say, Comrade Rabinovich?
“She said: “Let them not build.” I don’t have money either - so I don’t build!”
* * *
Rabinovich is interrogated by the Cheka:
- Where were you in '17?
- In Berdichev.
- Where were you in 1918?
- In Zhitomir.
- We will detain you until all the circumstances are clarified.
- Can I ask you a question?
- Please!
- Where were you in 1894?
- Why are you interested in this?
- No, nothing, just like that... Then there was a cholera epidemic in Russia...
* * *
Rabinovich, walking along with the November demonstration in front of the stands, raises his hand and shouts:
- Fiery hello! Fiery hello!
- Rabinovich, since when do you love them so much? - Abramovich, walking next to him, asks quietly.
- I can’t directly say: “May you burn!”
* * *
- Rabinovich, look how beautiful the sky is!
“Yes,” said Rabinovich, without raising his head, “they can do that!”
* * *
Rabinovich was expelled from the party for three outrageous attacks:
1) When the party bureau secretary came into his office, there were portraits of Khrushchev and Brezhnev hanging there.
- Why haven’t you taken down this fool yet? - asked the secretary.
- Which one? - asked Rabinovich.
2) Having seen the magnificent funeral of a member of the Politburo, Rabinovich said:
- What a waste of funds! I would bury the entire Central Committee for this money!
3) The secretary asked Rabinovich why he was not at the last party meeting.
- If only I knew that it was the last!
* * *
- There were pharaohs and Jews. The pharaohs died out, the Jews remained. There were inquisitors and Jews. The inquisitors died out, the Jews remained. There were Nazis and Jews. The Nazis died out, the Jews remained. Now there are communists and Jews...
- What do you want to say?
- Nothing, it’s just that the Jews reached the finals...
* * *
Khaimovich approaches Rabinovich, who is reading a newspaper with a mournful expression.
- Who died, who?! - Khaimovich asks with hope in his voice.
- Oh, Pompidou...
* * *
Rabinovich goes to the newsstand every morning, picks up Pravda, looks at the front page and returns the newspaper without buying it. A few days later the seller asks what he is looking for.
- Obituary.
- Obituaries are placed on the last page.
- The obituary I'm waiting for will be on the first page!
* * *
- Rabinovich, why do you want to go to Israel?
- Tired of the holidays!
- What holidays?
- I bought sausage - it’s a holiday, I got toilet paper - it’s a holiday...
* * *
Rabinovich stopped correspondence with his relatives abroad long ago. He is summoned to the NKVD and demanded to write a “cheerful” letter to his relatives.
“Dear ones, come to us,” writes Rabinovich. - We are building socialism. If you come, you will soon see grandfather Borach, grandmother Leah, and great-grandmother Sarah. We have heaven here!”
* * *
Knock on the door:
- Does Rabinovich live here?
Voice from behind the door:
- Is this life?
* * *
On the radio they read Mayakovsky: “We say Lenin, we mean the party...”
- Well, yes! - says Rabinovich. - For fifty years now we have been saying one thing, but meaning another!
* * *
Rabinovich crosses the border. Suddenly he sees that he has been spotted by Soviet border guards, notices dog excrement and, sitting down, pretends to relieve himself.
The border guards are approaching.
- It's a dog's! - says one.
- What a life, such a shit...
* * *
- Rabinovich, why do you say that you are fifty when I know very well that you are fully sixty?
- I don’t count the last ten years - I spent five of them sitting, five of them hanging around without work.
- Didn’t you live like that?
- May you live like this!
* * *
In the Sandunovo baths:
- Rurik Solomonovich, one of two things: either take off the cross, or put on panties!
* * *
- Rabinovich, you are so eager to go to Israel! tell me honestly, why do you feel bad here? - they ask the KGB.
- There is no meat, there is no fish, there is nothing... Just think - twenty years ago there was still something!
- You better think what they would have done to you twenty years ago for such speeches!
- So you don’t have bullets anymore either!
* * *
The KGB discourages Rabinovich from going to Israel:
- Do you think you will be happy there? you know, as they say, it’s good where we are not!
- That's it, I'm going to where you are not!
* * *
Two candidates for the vacant position - Ivanov and Rabinovich - were offered written work. Based on its results, Rabinovich was accepted. Ivanov came to the director with a scandal:
- I am a representative of the indigenous population, I took Berlin, my brother is in the police, and you took someone without family or tribe...
- Comrade Ivanov, calm down. Let's look at your written work together and find out what's going on. The first question was:
“Name the three-letter word that children write on fences, which men cherish so much and women love so much.” Comrade Rabinovich answered absolutely correctly: “peace.” What did you write?..
Second question: “What is the main organ of a Soviet woman?” Comrade Rabinovich answered correctly: the magazine “Rabotnitsa”. What did you write?... And finally, the third question: “Where does a woman have her curliest hair?” Comrade Rabinovich answered absolutely correctly: “In Africa.” What did you write?..
Tags: Jokes about Jews, Rabinovich and Soviet power
The coach consoles the losing boxer: “But in the third round you really scared your opponent.” - What is it? - It seemed to him that he killed you.
An old woman gets on a crowded Leningrad bus. No one gives way to her. - Are there really no intelligentsia left in St. Petersburg? The sitting big guy answers her: “Intellectuals, mother, to hell, but there are not enough buses!”
Mister Captain, why do most ships have women's names? - If you knew how difficult it is to manage them, you wouldn't ask stupid questions.
Waiter, I would like to have the same thing as the gentleman at the next table. - No problem, monsieur. I’ll call him to the phone now, and you go ahead.
The 600th gelding enters the skating rink from behind. A big guy gets out of the car and starts calling his traffic cop on his cell phone. After a while, a police car stops, a traffic cop gets out of it, approaches the driver of the skating rink, takes him aside and sincerely whispers: “Well, tell me.” How I overtook... How I cut off...
Vovochka, open your mouth quickly and say ah-ah, so that this evil and nasty doctor can finally pull his finger out of your teeth!
Lecture at the Agricultural Institute. The professor says: “A breeding bull can perform up to a hundred sexual acts.” Student: - What period of time is this? Professor: - In a day. Student: - Repeat this for the student from the last row. Student from the last row: - Tell me, professor, with one cow or with the whole herd? Professor: - With the whole herd. Student: - Repeat this for the student from the first row.
Prapor comes home and says to his wife: “Let’s eat!” The wife complains: - I'm so tired. She didn’t sit down once all day... ..... Prapor took pity on her and forced her to sit down two hundred times...
Sometimes you have to regret that your friend was not a big pig,” sighed the hungry Winnie the Pooh, roasting Piglet over the fire.
The tax inspector asks the new Russian: “Are you sure that you bought the villa, five Mercedes and six apartments in the center with honestly earned money?” - What other ones? - It seems to me that all this was bought with people's money! - What are you talking about?! Where do people get this kind of money?
Chaim, have you heard that there will be a pogrom soon? - But I’m not afraid - I’m Russian according to my passport. - Fool, they will hit you not on your passport, but on your face!
At the Tashkent bazaar, a buyer picks up a melon and, in order to bring down the price, says sarcastically: “Are these the biggest apples you have?” The seller counters: - Don’t touch the grapes with your hands...
The bus is packed with passengers. One man stands on the step and says: “People, make room.” Otherwise I'll go over my head! The bald man answers him, stroking his bald spot with a wet palm: “May you slip!” - Yes, I have spikes!
The mystery of Sherlock Holmes' violin has been solved: on quiet winter evenings, its sounds echoed across London at night, and this made hooligans lose their legs and robbers lose their hands! The rapists weren't happy either...
The husband suddenly returns from a business trip and finds a cigar on the night table. -Where does this cigar come from? The wife is silent. - I’m asking for the last time, where did the cigar come from? - Yes, from Havana, idiot! - comes from the closet.
In Israel, a book by the father of the country's Prime Minister Benzion Netanyahu, dedicated to the history of the Spanish Inquisition, has been translated into Russian. How are the fates of modern Russian Jews and the Jews of Spain similar? XV century, whether the Spanish Marranos actually secretly professed Judaism, and how it turned out that Netanyahu’s family of Sephardic, not Ashkenazi Jews, was discussed at the presentation of the book in Jerusalem.
In Jerusalem, there was a presentation of the translation into Russian of the most famous study on the history of the Spanish Inquisition - Professor Benzion Netanyahu’s book “The Origins of the Inquisition in 15th-Century Spain,” published by the Phoenix Publishing House. In the hall where the presentation took place, many prominent scientists, writers, religious and public figures of Russia and Israel could be seen. Many of them knew Professor Benzion Netanyahu personally and said that he was one of the greatest historians and intellectuals of the twentieth century, a kind of example of a genuine Jewish intellectual, which was evident even in the smallest details. And everyone agreed that the publication of his book in Russian was an event that might give impetus to its translation into other languages of the world.
Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who came to the presentation with his wife and brother, the famous writer and doctor Ido Netanyahu, began his speech by apologizing for being a little late.
“This is in no way a sign of disdain towards those gathered,” the prime minister said. - But, as you know, we are being overwhelmed by a wave of terror, and we have to fight it without respite, day and night. Today, as we know, another outrageous event occurred: a group of Arab Knesset members visited the families of terrorist killers and expressed their solidarity with terror. I promise that I will do everything to eradicate this shame in our parliament.”
Benjamin Netanyahu began the substantive conversation by thanking the entire team of authors of the book for the work they had done.
“My father was truly an outstanding man - a scientist, a thinker and at the same time a faithful son of his people, a convinced Zionist,” the prime minister said. “His research into the history of the Inquisition does not really begin and end with the Inquisition. He showed that when it became impossible to reproach the baptized Jews of Spain for not adhering to the true faith, the theory of “pure” and “impure” blood, a superior and inferior race, arose, and the Jews were classified as the latter. Now they began to be persecuted and discriminated against for their blood. This racial theory eventually reached Austria and Germany, and the consequences of its march across the planet are known to everyone. We see how it works to this day, now both against the Jews themselves and against their state. My father, by the way, never believed that the creation of Israel could put an end to anti-Semitism. But he believed that the emergence of a Jewish state would lead to the fact that Jews would be able to give a worthy rebuff to anti-Semites. And not only military, but also moral.”
The prime minister's brother, Ido Netanyahu, developed this idea in his speech. “The significance of this work by my father lies, among other things, in the fact that he dispelled several common myths and revealed the roots of anti-Semitism,” said Ido Netanyahu. - Many people are convinced that the reason for anti-Semitism in the Christian world is that Christians believe that the Jews crucified Christ and “rejected the Savior.” And the Spanish Marranos were persecuted because they continued to secretly practice Judaism. Father was the first to show that this was not so: the overwhelming majority of baptized Spanish Jews were already devout Christians in the second and third generations, who had nothing in common with Judaism. But now they were accused of having “dirty blood” flowing in their veins. They tried to proudly declare that this was “the blood of the Savior himself,” but this thesis was rejected, and the Bible itself, the most Jewish of all Jewish books, began to be interpreted from the standpoint of anti-Semitism. Thus, Christianity did not give rise to anti-Semitism, but only, being connected by an umbilical cord with Judaism, adopted anti-Semitic concepts originating in Ancient Egypt, and then in Greece and Rome.”
During his speech, Ido Netanyahu also presented a small sensation. He said that geneticists approached him with a request to take part in a study of the genotype of the Levites - the descendants of the son of the forefather Jacob Levi. “As you know, the history of our family goes back to the rabbinical family of the Milikovskys, and the Milikovsky family to the Vilna Gaon and the Levi family. The researchers said that they already had enough data on Sephardic Levites, but almost no data on Ashkenazi Levites, and they needed me precisely in the latter capacity, said Ido Netanyahu. - After a while they called me extremely disappointed. “You are indeed Levites,” they said, “but you are also not Ashkenazi, but Sephardim!” That is, apparently, our ancestors came to Europe from the same Spain.”
Thus, the current Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, it turns out, is not only a descendant of King David (through the Vilna Gaon), from whose family the future Messiah should come, but also not an Ashkenazi, but a Sephardic Jew, whose ancestors moved to Lithuania relatively recently. Which, of course, doesn't change anything.
One of the most interesting presentations of the evening was the presentation of the book’s translator, Daniel Fradkin. A renowned violinist, he has long been a close friend of Ido Netanyahu and has been friends with Professor Benzion Netanyahu for many years. “The work on the translation lasted two years and really captivated me,” said Daniel Fradkin. - I had the good fortune to know Benzion Netanyahu personally, I always admired his intelligence and intelligence, but then he revealed himself to me as an outstanding scientist. At one thousand four hundred pages, this book is not just a scientific study, but also a truly fascinating read. Benzion Netanyahu was an honest historian who did not reject versions that were inconvenient to him, but presented all the arguments of his opponents and argued with them. The fact that he ultimately, unwittingly, destroyed our national myth that the Marranos secretly professed Judaism required, of course, considerable scientific courage. They did not observe Judaism, gentlemen! They were Christians, their assimilation went very, very far. And who knows what assimilation is better than us, former Soviet Jews?! I myself grew up in an extremely assimilated Jewish family, where they no longer knew anything about Judaism or Jewishness in general. And I had to make sure from my own experience that no attempts at mimicry, all these changes of surname and so on, do not save anyone from anything. And now you and I are here in Jerusalem, and we are proud of our Jewishness. Moreover, many descendants of the Marranos suddenly remembered their Jewish roots and are now returning to Judaism. During my last conversation with Benzion Netanyahu, I asked him how he explained the fact that after thousands of years of persecution we still survived and eventually regained our state. “Benzion,” I said, “is there still some rational explanation for this? Or is this proof of the existence of G-d?!” “But you just answered your own question,” he said.”
Yuri Kanner, chairman of the Russian Jewish Congress, with whose support the book was published, noted in his speech that a “truly international Jewish team” - Jews from Israel, Russia and Ukraine - worked on the translation of the book. “This publication is all the more important,” he emphasized, “because the Russian intelligentsia has one important feature - for the most part, it still does not know English and does not read it. So there was no other opportunity to introduce this book into Russian scientific discourse "
Kanner admitted that he learned relatively recently that Professor Benzion Netanyahu was not only Jabotinsky’s secretary, the father of the current Prime Minister of Israel and the editor of the Jewish Encyclopedia, but also the author of a fundamental work on the history of the Spanish Inquisition. “But when I was introduced to the main ideas of the book, they grabbed me. The fact is that the fates of modern Russian Jewry and the Jews of 15th century Spain are in many ways similar. History again proves that attempts at assimilation and even baptism did not save anyone from anything, he said. At all times they hit me not on the passport, but on the face. The Jews of Spain were persecuted even after they renounced their faith and tried to become “good Christians.” But the same thing was observed in Russia on the threshold of the revolution: baptized Jews were subject to the same percentage rate and were subject to many of the same restrictions as other Jews. That is, the persecution was not based on religion, but on national grounds. I was struck by another parallel: it is no secret that among the inquisitors there were many people with Jewish blood. But the same thing was observed in Russia: many of the most virulent anti-Semites and persecutors of Jews themselves had Jewish roots. We see this today. You've probably heard about the latest anti-Semitic scandal in Perm. So, it turned out that one of the instigators of this scandal is also not a complete stranger to us. Yes, he himself admitted it: “I can smell these Jews a mile away, since I myself am a Jew!” So, such a significant work of Benzion Netanyahu has so far been published only in English and Spanish. It was not published either in Russian or even in Hebrew, and we decided to fill this gap.”
When asked whether there was some political subtext in the fact that, against the background of other serious studies on the history of anti-Semitism, the choice fell on this book, he replied: “Call it what you want. Perhaps you are right: there are other equally significant and interesting books on this topic. But we understood that the book by the father of the current Prime Minister of Israel would certainly attract the attention of non-Jewish readers to this topic more than similar works by other historians. There was a certain calculation here, and this calculation worked. We have already sent this book to all important libraries in the world and presented it to those leaders of states who read Russian. And we have already received the first reviews. For example, from the President of Azerbaijan Ilham Aliyev. There are also many very flattering reviews from leading Russian scientists.”
Along the way, it turned out that in the persons of Kanner and Netanyahu, two branches of Levites met at this evening: the “Lithuanian” - the Milikowski dynasty, and the Hasidic, which was represented by Kanner.
The Prime Minister still had the last word on the presentation. “I want to once again thank those who took part in the translation and publication of my father’s book. “I also want to say that our mother Tsilya was the true co-author of this book,” Netanyahu shared. “She often said: “I know that I became the wife of a genius, but someone should wash a genius’s socks!” But she not only washed his socks, but also helped him in his work. And one more thing. Look at the cover of this book: it shows the courtroom of the Inquisition, where the death sentences were passed on Jews. After my father wrote this book, it received very high recognition in Spain. For all Spanish historians, I am not the Prime Minister of Israel, but “the son of that same Benzion Netanyahu.” So, 500 years after the trials of the Inquisition, my father received a prize for the book, and it was presented to him in this very hall. My mother, brother and I were also present at the ceremony, and I thought: the fact that Jews are being celebrated in the very hall where they were once subjected to ridicule and shame is our Jewish victory. Not the first. And, of course, not the last. You can be sure: it’s far from the last!”
The topic of the day
Dear readers, where to start: with President Putin, who received Jews in the Kremlin? or from the boys who ran around the train wearing masks and carrying baseball bats?
Let's start with an anecdote from the times of the USSR, when everyone had their nationality in their passport. A man with a typically Jewish appearance shows off to a friend his new passport, which says “Russian.” Friend (with a sad grin): “Are you happy? But they will hit you in the face, not your passport.”
...Now we still have to decide: first the president or first the boys with the bats? The easiest way would be to approach it chronologically and start with what happened before. But the fact of the matter is that two events happened synchronously (at the same minute). And if so, let's start with the main thing.
The Chief received representatives of the European Jewish Congress in the Kremlin. This organization represents the interests of Jews living in Europe.
The President of the Congress, Vyacheslav Kantor, had the following dialogue with the President:
CANTOR. Our news is alarming. The situation of Jews in Europe today is the worst since the end of World War II. The Jews are gripped by fear, and a new exodus of Jews from Europe is very real.
PUTIN. Yes, I saw these reports. There people are already afraid to wear a kippah in public places, they even try to hide their nationality. But I don’t think that it’s as bad there as you say - the worst situation since the Second World War.
PUTIN. Let them come to us, let them come to us. We are ready.
And all the television and radio channels, all the news agencies began to endlessly repeat: President Putin promised Jewish refugees from Europe a safe life in Russia.
Exactly at the moment when this invitation was sounded in the Kremlin, 15 young men ran into a train near Moscow - in masks, with bats. They beat up a passenger whose face was clearly not Slavic. Then (the police) it turned out that the guy was Azerbaijani. But those who beat him didn’t know this. Few people in our country can discern at first glance exactly what nationality a person with a Caucasian or Transcaucasian appearance is. Moreover, you can’t see very well through the holes in the mask, and there’s no time to figure it out. Maybe they thought they were beating an Armenian, or a Chechen, or a Dagestani. Or maybe they didn’t think about anything like that at all; there was a non-Russian in front of them - that’s enough.
Putin promised a safe life for Jews from Europe. Suppose he himself believes in his promises. But how to organize execution? An additional problem is created by the fact that not everyone in our country can immediately distinguish a Jew from an Azerbaijani. In addition, the refugees invited by Putin will find themselves here without the Russian language and will not be able to explain to the boys with bats that they are guests of our president. In a “train-masks-bits” situation, there is no time for explanations at all. Everything should be clear at first glance.
A kippah (Jewish cap) and sidelocks can become a protective uniform for refugees from Europe. If everything is explained to everyone, an absolutely peaceful life will come. And not only for Jews from Europe.
Before getting on the train, any Azerbaijani (Dagestanian, Kalmyk, Kumyk, Tajik) must put on a kippah, or even better, attach a six-pointed yellow star to his chest. I got to the mosque, unhooked the Star of David, walked home along a dark street, and hooked it up. It couldn't be simpler.
It is unknown how the investigation into episode 15 will end with bits against one non-Russian. It is not even known whether there will be an investigation. The beaten man does not seem to want a trial. Either he’s afraid, or he’s forgiven everyone in a Christian way. Maybe even turned the other cheek.
It is possible, however, that the investigation will discover that this guy himself attacked the gang. This happens all the time here. Swamp squishes always attack riot police and damage different places of fighters protected by law, body armor, helmet, baton. I remember a 9-year-old Tajik girl attacked a group of skinheads. And when they ran away, she stabbed herself to death out of chagrin that she couldn’t catch up.
...Actually, the safest place is prison. There is security there, there are no bats in the hands of the population, no weapons at all. But here, even in these safest places, prisoners fall in their sleep and are killed.
No, we should not be afraid of the Jewish invasion from Europe. They will not burden our budget.
Our caring government paid attention to the protection of “small” objects from terrorist threats: restaurants, shops, entertainment centers and other crowded places. A bill has been sent to the presidential administration for approval, which clarifies the term “place of large gatherings of people” - this category will now include any territory or building where more than 50 people can be present. Owners of such places will be required to obtain a safety passport, which provides for additional requirements for the anti-terrorism protection of the facility.
The bill requires that all objects falling under the new definition be required to compile a safety data sheet. And, as a source close to the development group explained, the document will primarily affect the small business and public catering sector. Previously, no one paid attention to their safety and security.
Thank you, benefactors, for paying attention to what else you can get money for.
Unable (due to impotence) to boast of something constructive, creative, our government (both executive and legislative) is constantly looking for (and sometimes creating) informational reasons to start collecting money in a new circle- either after the story with the “Lame Horse”, or after another car accident, etc.
It doesn’t even occur to them that it is the business sector that provides income to the bulk of the citizens of our country, that receiving gas and oil dollars in modern Russia is the prerogative of, as one of the domestic political figures aptly put it, “a narrow circle of limited people.”
It doesn’t even occur to them that they can study world experience, in particular Israel, where the danger of terrorist threats is much higher than in Russia. But no one deals with anti-terrorism passports there, because they understand perfectly well that they are hitting not in the passport, but in the face.
Today, a Moscow businessman in some small cafe can easily be visited by: the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection, the Federal Migration Service, fire supervision, Rospotrebnadzor, local tax, inter-district tax, SES (Sanitary and Epidemiological Service), department for regulating the circulation of alcoholic beverages, Mosgorreklama, administrative and technical inspection, Moscomarchitecture, etc.
And if it takes at best a day to sort things out with everyone (and having not found any shortcomings, these evil uncles and aunts will not leave - perhaps they came in vain), then it turns out that the businessman will simply have no time to engage in business. Because if you try to fulfill all the requirements of each of these bureaucratic institutions in practice, then a whole life will not be enough.
Let's take, for example, an excerpt from the list of documents, the submission of which by a legal entity or individual entrepreneur is necessary to achieve the goals and objectives of conducting an audit of the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection:
- data on the inventory of emission sources (materials from the inventory of emissions of pollutants into the air);
- draft standards for maximum permissible emissions of pollutants into the atmosphere;
- schedule of production (laboratory) monitoring of compliance with MPE standards;
Results of production monitoring of established emission standards at sources in accordance with the schedule (protocols of quantitative chemical analysis with attached copies of accreditation certificates of laboratories performing sample analyzes);
- documents confirming the implementation of measures to temporarily reduce emissions of pollutants during periods of unfavorable meteorological conditions.
The list of provinces prohibited for residence in the famous Soviet film of the 1930s “Maxim’s Youth” compared to the lists of demands of today’s bureaucrats is just a comic book.
The growing army of bureaucrats, living luxuriously on average official salaries thanks to extortions from the business sector, continues with renewed energy to invent new ways of extorting bribes from entrepreneurs. And they don’t realize that, thus strangling entrepreneurship in Russia, they are cutting off the branch on which they are sitting.
Or maybe it’s easier to close all these extortionate bureaucratic shops that give society NOTHING?
After all, probably neither the tax office nor the FMS (where 50 people gather at one time) have anti-terrorist passports. By the way, the Duma does too.
